i like to think they finally get married…. at some point
Movie slashers and monsters would follow random people from a few steps behind, with a letter from their name hovering above their head. When enough of them followed one person to complete a specific word, they would rush and kill that person. I was grocery shopping, and there were a few of them behind me clearly spelling out “SANDWICH” with an S missing, then I saw Tony Montana walking towards me. I thought surely Scarface doesn’t count as a slasher, but then S hovered above his head. As all of the monsters killed me I shouted: “Now that’s just lazy.”
here comes another Dune shitpost but the end of the miniseries had me wondering about the Arakeen janitorial staff who must have been tasked with the responsibility of retrieving Baron Harkonnen’s floating corpse from the ceiling
“Well, the lasso didn’t work. Do we have an even taller ladder somewhere?”
“I’m telling you, I think we should try the grappling hook.”
“The grappling hook will just tear through him.”
“So? I don’t think the new boss will care. It’s not like he’s going to be mourned.”
“No, I mean, I don’t want his guts spilling down on me. Maybe if we had a hunter-seeker we could use it to press the buttons on his suspensor belt and lower him down.”
“Nobody is going to loan us a hunter-seeker. We could try opening and closing windows to create a draft and suck him outside?”
“I dunno—somebody might want a trophy from his body. Say... do you think we could just. Y’know. Leave it up there?”
“Leave it up there? It’ll rot!”
“Not in this dry air. I bet it’ll desiccate quickly and shouldn’t smell too bad... talk about a war trophy! I’m sure I can convince the new emperor that a floating mummy of his defeated enemy will be just the decorative centerpiece for his throne room.”
“No offense, but who hired you?”
“The power supply on the suspension harness will run down eventually, right? Right?”
It’s all fun and games for several years until—
“Bad news. St. Alia of the Knife has ordered the floating mummy removed and given a proper burial. She called it ‘tacky’ and ‘offensive’.”
“Why?! I thought she loved that thing! Why, I remember when she dragged it around on a string with a balloon and called it ‘Dry Grandpa’.”
“Who knows. Teenagers, man. They’re very changeable—even normal ones.”
“You don’t think it’s a sign of depression—losing interest in things that previously gave her pleasure? Should we tell someone?”
“Hmm, nah, it’s probably just hormones or something. Best not to pry.”
